To Fear and to Love
by Zephyr26
Summary: Happy Akuroku Day everyone! Roxas has a phobia that's plagued him for years, but the redhead he meets by chance one day may be all he needs to get over it. Just a little fluffiness that I wrote up quickly. :


**Happy Akuroku Day to all! I didn't actually think I would have a story for today because I just got a new puppy and I'm moving at the end of the week so things have been hectically busy. Anywho, I'm glad that I came up with this little blurb due to a random Google search on phobias, but due to my lack of time it was written quickly so it might suck. Please enjoy anyways!**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Roxas didn't exactly know when it had started, or why, but it had. In sixth grade when boys began to develop real crushes on girls and those feelings became a mutual attraction in childish little relationships, he had been afraid. He had never feared anything more in his life, and so he avoided girls. When Namine tried to hold his hand while they were on a field trip at the museum in grade eight, he freaked. When Xion attempted to kiss him on a dare by their friend Sora, he hid in his bedroom for days. Larxene… Well, she was another story. She was scary whether she was coming onto you or not.

"It's called Philophobia: a chronic fear of love, being loved, being in a committed relationship, you get the idea." The family doctor explained.

And it only got worse from there. When his mother burst into tears at the revelation and tried to hug him, he felt his body go rigid and jolted from her grasp. Yes, he couldn't even accept simple affectionate touches from his family members. Anything that was done out of love seemed to burn him, terrify him, even though he tried to remind himself that everyone had good intentions.

High school was the worst. His first year, he had no friends, and everyone labelled him as the 'emo loser'. He didn't mind the nickname so much. He had disconnected himself so much that what people did hatefully didn't bother him, but for some reason love still did. He couldn't manage a friendly handshake with the principal when he got the top score on his test out of the entire school. It was still the same.

People were much more sexual in high school as well. He found himself more than once being slapped or groped. Teenagers were far too forward for his taste. Going to school everyday sickened him, so he started skipping.

On one particular day of playing hooky, he decided to check out the shadier part of town. His parents were rather rich so he never usually bothered to come to this side of the city, but he wanted to check it out. He wandered along the sidewalk and stopped in front of a cafe, deciding to get a drink. He stepped inside, making the doorbell jingle, announcing his presence to the man at the counter.

Roxas blinked as he took in the man's appearance. He had vibrant red hair that seemed to be everywhere with its spikes. He was insanely tall, his hips nearly adjacent with the counter, and although he was thin, there was visible muscle beneath his clothes. His eyes were a shade of green so unique that he had never seen anything as bright as them before. To add to his unique appearance, there were teardrop shaped tattoos under his eyes.

Overall, it intrigued the blond, so he decided to stay and walked up to the counter.

"Hey cutie, I've never seen you around here before. You seem a little high end to be in this part of the city." The redhead said.

Roxas shrugged. "Just checking out the sights."

"During school?"

How did he know? "Maybe I just look young for my age."

"So, you're legal then? I could get you drunk, take you back to my place and fuck you senseless without getting nabbed by the police and sent to prison for being a pedophile?"

Roxas turned red, but not from being flustered by the man's statement. He was laughing so hard at it that he had doubled over and was holding his sides, tears springing to his eyes. God, he hadn't laughed like this in ages.

"I wasn't joking." The redhead said with a wink.

The teen straightened. "Yeah, you'd be going to prison then."

"Damn. That's a shame. You know education pays right?"

"Yeah, but it's hard to focus on school when you're in the pinnacle of perverts." Roxas stated. Why the hell was it so easy to talk to this guy? Normally he stayed silent, that way no one tried to talk to him and no one felt anything for him, and he wouldn't feel anything for them.

"Well, I guess you would get a lot of that attention. Does your boyfriend beat all of them up for you?" The man asked.

"No boyfriend to do that."

"How come? A cutie like you should have everyone fawning over him."

"People tend to stay away for the most part." Roxas admitted.

"How come? Are you secretly a ninja?"

The blond chuckled and shook his head. "I just have a sort of aversion to people."

"Seems like you are pretty friendly to me." The man pointed out. "Oh, by the way, I'm Axel. Get it memorized."

Roxas resisted the urge to roll his eyes at the man. "Roxas."

"Okay Roxas, can I get you anything?" He leaned forward, resting his arms on the counter, completely bursting Roxas' personal space bubble. For some reason, he wasn't bothered by it.

"What do you recommend?"

"I recommend the sexy redhead at the counter and a latte mocha chino to go."

"Is that supposed to be your way of asking me out?" Roxas asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Maybe." Axel sang innocently as he turned to make the drink, plus one for himself. "I'm off in five minutes."

"I'll bite then. Sure." The blond answered, garnering a smile from the man.

Five minutes later, the two were exiting the cafe with their drinks in hand and they walked down the street, Roxas following the intriguing redhead whose obvious attraction to him wasn't bothering him. That in itself had become more frightening than his actual phobia.

They eventually came to a park where little kids who had obviously just been let out of school were playing on the jungle gym. They sat on a bench, their hips nearly touching and Axel's hand brushing against the younger boy's, making shivers course through him, but not the bad kind that he normally got.

"So, how old are you anyways jailbait?" Axel questioned.

"I am not jailbait. I'm seventeen. What about you, old man?" Roxas snapped.

The redhead simply chuckled. "Twenty-five."

Only eight years of an age difference. Wait, why did he even care? His parents would kill him if he dated a twenty-five year old man. Not that they were homophobic thankfully. Was he even gay? This man was way too complex for him, caused too many erratic thoughts.

"So, why are you skipping school instead of telling a teacher about all of those hormonal teens?" Axel asked.

"I don't really like people remember?"

"Why not? Don't you have friends who can make those kids back off?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Do you always ask questions like a five year old?"

"Yes. I've been called 'nosy' my entire life. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back. Plus the other eight lives he has."

Roxas frowned. "That was terrible."

"So?" Axel pressed.

The blond sighed, lacing his hands together in his lap. "I have something called philophobia: a fear of love. I hate any sort of affection, it scares me. Ever since grade six, I haven't been able to let people touch me without having a panic attack. It hurts more than it feels comforting."

"Really? Why?" Axel asked sympathetically.

"I don't even know."

"Well it seems to me like you're okay now."

The blond's eyes widened and he looked down, noticing that Axel's hand had worked its way around his, and he hadn't even felt it. There was no painful shock to his body like usual, it felt… Nice.

"So, am I some sort of special exception?" Axel asked with a smirk.

Roxas felt his face redden out of embarrassment. "I-I…" Nope, there was nothing he could say to that, his voice wouldn't work. His heart beat unsteadily in his chest and a warm feeling spread through him. It wasn't bad, it felt good actually.

"Maybe we should find out." Axel proposed, leaning in closer.

The blond froze, sitting rigidly straight as the man placed his lips over his, and then every inch of fear in him disappeared. The lip-to-lip contact was absolutely harmless, tender, and loving. His body relaxed and he returned the kiss as best as he could without any prior experience.

After what felt like forever, the redhead pulled away and Roxas regrettably whimpered, his face turning to a shade similar to Axel's hair, and the man smirked.

God, that was amazing, maybe he could get used to this affection thing. Especially if it was from Axel, the one whose touch had been the first to make him feel happy.

****

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